Friday, March 30, 2012

Doctors without space - time coordinates

On my last bike ride, I rode by a Tardis (English call box) outside a small shop near the lake in Magnolia Park. I thought I might post a picture of it and make some silly ass of a joke about the Doctor visiting us to save us from these GOP turkeys who are trying to destroy everything we true Americans were trying to stand for. So today I grabbed a camera and was halfway out the door when I realized I could find a picture much easier on line.

It was a stupid idea anyway

I'm not going to do it.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012


This is a bike ride log - containing the word "SPLOG" to distinguish it so I can locate older ones in case I ever want to put them all together and make a graph of my muscular degeneration over the years.
So far, I haven't wanted to do that.



20.10 miles
11:58:25 minutes
10.1 average
37.2 maximum speed
2456.1 on the odometer.

Thank you for listening to this broadcast. Tune in again sometime.

The Madison Park Bakery is a reeeley good place for maple bars and such.


Monday, March 26, 2012

Marche arrière

When you look through a magnifying glass, the image distorts as you move in and out of focus.
At one point, the image inverts.
I often wonder exactly what the image is at that precise point.
Perhaps a portal into another world?
A world where there is no concept of "up" or "down"?

Perhaps an omnidimensional galaxy free of motion sickness?
Or an nondimensional infinity free of positional prejudice?
Maybe an extradimensional film of pure nothingness?
A Heisenbergian bipolar dilemma?
An chimerical world of passive agressionality?
A paradoxical praxomatic pumpkin shell?

A dream of blessed oblivion?

Captain Beefheart wondered once about the black paper between a mirror.
Was this what he was talking about?
Is blackness the same as nothingness?
If so, can we sneak up behind it and shoot it in the back?

When the cabbage boils down, it's up to you.

Friday, March 23, 2012


There once was a girl from Nantucket


Who brought home lollipops by the bucket
They were quite sweet
And she thought it a treat
To take one out and suck it
Whose job it was to scrape muck, it
It was quite a bore
To do this odd chore
But she could think of no way to duck it
Who said if an eyebrow offends one should pluck it
She was quite vain
But I thought it insane
When she took a botox filled needle and stuck it
Who found a big bell and struck it
The people from town
Came running around
They thought someone had kicked the bucket
Who had a exceedingly ancient old truck, it
Wouldn't run right
So late one night
She took a baseball bat and struck it
Whose favorite composer was Gluck, it
Seemed the right thing
To give him a ring
But Willibald had, alas, kicked the bucket
Who was advised to read a book about Huck, it
Was a tale 'bout a river
That someone had give her
It was darn good advise , so she tuck it
Who picked up a guitar to pluck it
Her fingers got sore
So she finally swore
To take her musical career and chuck it
Who bought a new truck, it
Was gone the next morn
And she was forlorn
Someone just came up and tuck it
Who had a little too much pluck, it
Was late in the night
When she went out to fight
The cops brought her home in a bucket
Who had unusually bad luck, it
Seemed like the thing
To learn how to sing
But her voice hit a window and bruck it

Monday, March 19, 2012


Got a little ride in today.
In spite of a winter spent on my ass, my weird legs seem to be stronger than ever.
Go figger.

10.62 miles
58.48 minnits
10.8 average speed
35.3 max speed
2435.9 miles accumulated since I started measuring these statistics.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Work in progress

Got a call for scores; French horn an impossible job.
Checked out Mozart's horn concerto for inspiration...I need a drink.
I thought of writing a joky piece using only notes out of the horn's range
So I wrote this instead, it's terrible, it's impossible.
At least I think it probably is.
If I knew anything about the damn thing I could be sure.


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Friday, March 16, 2012


I remember -
She said she was going to walk down by the lake
That's the last I ever saw her

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Orpheus and Eurydice

Orpheus and Eurydice;
All during the opening heartbreaker scene in which Eurydice is already dead and Orpheus is lamenting his heart out, I couldn't keep Roy Orbison's "Unchained Melody" out of my head.

Then Deus showed up ex bicycle...

Later after a quick trip to hell, Orphy visited a hippie commune distinct for the odd fact that everyone there had found their "own true love".

Takes all kinds.

So whilst trying to drag Eurie out of hell they have this wonderful cross-purpose conversation that I swear I've heard many times on Dr.Phil, Oprah, Jerry Springer and in my VERY OWN HOME! Anyway, She dies again and everything ends happily.

(Not that I actually aver watch any of those shows, but I have heard about them)

Until the honeymoon is over.

I can hear it now; "Sure you were willing to sacrifice everything that gave any meaning to your life and descend into hell to bring me back to the world of the living, but you never do that anymore".
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