Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Just

Workin' my way back to you.

Finally got out and mowed the lawn today.
The grass was deep.
Couldn't see over the dandelions.
Couldn't see over Mount Rainier.
Got lost.
Ended up in Africa of all things.
When I did see a mountain again it was Killamanjaro.
Had to abandon my lawn mower.
Decided it was of no use on the veldt.
Had some veelings about that, har har.
I did see a nice painting of Elvis there, though.

Went looking for big game instead.
Thought it would be cool to bag a world series, but I don't know what their tracks look like.
Besides, my bat boy left me right after the veldt joke.

I decided to quit my African safari when an elephant shot me and stole my pajamas.
I have no idea what he thinks he's going to do with my pajamas.
I grabbed the first flying boat and arrived in Tuscaloosa "where the tusks are looser" in time to get my personal SR81 titanium spy plane out of the hock shop and was well on my way home when I ran out of gas in some little podunk town where they don't even sell titanium spy plane fuel.
So I had to blow up my inflatable 10 speed bicycle and ride the rest of the way.

So here I am and I hope you appreciate the trouble I've gone through.

4 Comments:

Blogger G said...

Nice.

And I do appreciate the trouble you went through to cross the continent to get to Killamanjaro.

Was the painting of Elvis, velvet?

3:25 AM  
Blogger Glenn Buttkus said...

Holy Moley, and Great Caesar's
Ghost....to think that you
went to all that trouble
just meet your blogging
deadline! You are one truly
dedicated Blogmaster, enit?
I love this tale of the
"Further Adventures of Sir
Lane Savant." I even found
a great safari shot to
illustrate it over on FFTR.
So thanks for the smile,
and several chuckles. It was
a fine way to begin a
Wednesday; a wet one at
that, so it's a good thing
you mowed yesterday.
Your imagination appear to
be boundless, and for we
followers of Palmer out here
in the hinterlands, this
posting was another Savant
apex, a corker, a juicy
fruit, a Doug Dandy.
Was the painting the young
svelte Elvis, or that other
guy who wore nine scarves
and died on the crapper
after ingesting way too many
fried peanut butter and
banana sandwiches?
I have our monthly film
club meeting tonight, and
we will discuss BREATHLESS,
CHOOSE ME, & ATLANTIC CITY.
Should be great fun.
I have about half decided
that I will continue to dress
up, slacks, dress shirt, and
tie, for film club meetings
and events, and perhaps some
poetry slam competitions;
otherwise what the hell
will I do with this closet
full of work clothes?
8 more days until Freedom
rings, and Buttkus flees
serfdom forever, or until
my money runs out, or the
country goes in the crapper,
or 2012, and the end of the
planet, or whatever comes
first.

6:13 AM  
Blogger Lane Savant said...

The Elvis painting was on veldt which resembles velvet but is cheaper.
8 days and counting this is getting exciting.
BTW check your e-mail, check your facebook page.
Mr. Sparks has a birthday message.

9:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hallo, Lane!
Rossini wrote an opera about a thieving magpie; maybe you should write one about a thieving elephant!!
Tschüß,
Anonomann

8:35 AM  

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