In Labor minimus
I don't know exactly where this little flower is
but the presence of snow indicates, Flagstaff.
No school today stayed home an did yard work.
I it was a physical week, this
Monday it was a 25 mile bike ride
Tuesday involved some serious weed-whacking on the slope behind the hedge
in order to find the hedge under all the weeds.
Wednesday I mowed the lawn
And today it was a matter of dragging up all the stuff cut Tuesday and running it through the chipper.
Charging what I used to get running my shop, that's several hundred dollars worth of labor.
Here is the profit
Of course, I had nothing to do with either the raising of the flowers or the picking of the flowers or the arrangement of the flowers.
And, what's more, I don't even remember that vahze hanging around the house before.
Still it's a nice bunch and will be until about 2:00 PM tomorrow when all the petals fall off and we sweep them up and dump them in the compost.
Sic transit gloria floria.
Nice tile work though, innit?
I have been inviting friends to my facebook site
Perhaps if I contact enough musicians through bring friends with Katy and Tom, it'll be easier to find people for the salon.
Or maybe I could even put together a whole concert somewhere.
Anyway, many have been called, but few have chosen.
I don't remember who I've already invited, so I'll probably be duplicating invites.
More harassment charges in the offing no doubt.
The life of a composer-selfpromoter is a treacherous one, mes amis.
Orry vwah and a jew
posted by Lane Savant at 7:10 PM
52 Comments:
I am sure that you were oblivious, or nearly, to the zinging and stinging potential for coversion of your maddish prose into Twainish poetry, into Andy Rooney rant lines, but here it is:
In Labor minimus
No school today,
stayed home
and did yard work.
It was a physical week;
this Monday there was
a 25 mile bike ride;
Tuesday involved
some serious weed-whacking
on the slope
behind the hedge;
in order
to find the hedge
under all the weeds.
Wednesday I mowed the lawn,
And today
it was a matter
of dragging up
all the stuff
cut Tuesday,
and running it
through the chipper.
Charging
what I used to get
running my shop,
that's several hundred dollars
worth of labor.
Here is the profit;
[view beautiful flowers
in an even more beautiful vase],
Of course,
I had nothing to do
with either the raising
of the flowers,
or the picking
of the flowers,
or the arrangement
of the flowers.
And, what's more,
I don't even remember
that vahze
hanging around the house
before.
Still,
it's a nice bunch,
and will be
until about 2:00 PM
tomorrow
when all the petals fall off
and we sweep them up
and dump them
in the compost.
Sic transit gloria floria.
Orry vwah and a jew.
Doug Palmer June 2008
This has meandered its way already this fine Friday onto FFTR, with yet another stunning painting by Rick Mobbs to illustrate it, to punctuate it [wait, I sort of did that]. Odd how many of your farceish fantasies and pregnant possibilities, your tantalizing theories, and vociferus views find themselves recycled, retooled, re-viewed, retweeked, and end up there on yet another blog site; looking slightly different, and sending a new tangential tirade into the occupatus of cyberspace.
It is my pleasure, sir, to be at your service--and that is cool tile, enit?
Glenn
Oh, by the by, and of course the way, Melva and I will embark on a road trip next week, so I will miss out on being the first out of the gate to jump on and share my views of your views; quite a relationship actually, having led me to being a guest on blogs set up by Alex Shapiro, Janet Leigh, and Rick Mobbs. I guess out here where the air is thin, and the profundities are rare--anything is possible.
We were going to get launched on our trip to Montana to see Melva's blind aunt on Saturday morning, but I had a severe attack of CRS, and I accepted the privledge of being the discussion leader at the Grand Theater in Tacoma for the new Australian laugh riot; KENNY. Melva just shrugged her shoulders. I guess that is what comes of being married to a senior citizen, enit?
Glenn again
If you quit slicking down your hair, and let your eyebrows get longer, you might find out what it is like to be old and famous and befuddled.
Andy Rooney
Poets are damned, but see with the eyes of angels.
Allen Ginsberg
There is something to dying young and leaving a handsome corpse. I know whathehell I'm jabbering about. I had breakfast this morning with James Dean, Jim Morrison, River Phoenix, James Marshall Hendrix, and Heath Ledger; cool guys all, and still handsome as hell, as am I.
.......Eddy Emerald
I had tea at the table near Eddy and his posse this morning. It was a real men's meat market. It made me wish I had had more romance in my short life, and makes me want to write a poem. I will call it "Passionate Palmer".
.........Emily
Douglas: You should write a short story, or an epic poem while Butch is on his road trip. Make it about the troll or leprecaun you found when you weed whacked near your hedge; the trouble you had explaining to the neighbors why their cats have all disappeared. Maybe that is what happened to Polalie.
........Poo
Private Palmer:
Logic runs through you like crap through a goose.
.....George Patton
Why the hell didn't Emerald include me in his breakfast posse? Who dyed more handsome than the King?
........Elvis Presley
Most everybody, you bloated banana-fried, peanut butter licking fool!
........John Denver
Play nice, children....or face the consequences.
.....Jesus
Palmer, you goy goose, where the hell do you get off using the salutation "a jew"? What jew? Were you referring to me, disrespecting me, defecating on Judaic tradition?
By the way, how are jew?
.........Woody Allen
I am so sorry, E. I will get the breakfast invitation out to you on the morrow, or maybe you could join me for brunch? One thing about being on this side, you can eat 50 times a day and never get fat! Or is that fatter?
.......Eddy Emerald
Hallo Lane!
LL and I send our regards on this fantastic Friday! We zoom along on this train and Amerika just keeps putting up one postcard after another for us to see. I am zoo glad that you and Meredith helped us to decide to do this Southwestern Adventure.
Anonomann
As you discovered, young man, while on your trek into the Southwest--the only good Indian is a dead Indian--but just don't make the mistake of getting them pissed off at you, or let them get to close to you. I wish I knew which one took my scalp. Blond Indians are so special.
.....George A. Custer
Homeland Security is watching you, Palmer. Your blog site here is a hotbed of dissident and communistic and terroristic tendencies. Watch you step. Proceed at your own peril.
....J. Edgar Poover
Poo, is that you pretending to be J. Edgar again? Grow up, you little depressed turd.
.........Emily
Just because I like to wear a smart smock now and again, with spring colors and floral motif--it does not necessarily follow that I would "pretend" to be J. Edgar. You are just a suspicious lame busy body. Get a man.
....Edgar A. Poo
I have a man, a real man; two of them in fact. Douglas Palmer and Lane Savant!!!
.......Emily
Those capitalist faggots in Homeland Security are not to be believed. You just keep on keeping on. We love your site. It is chock full of humor, music theory, history, humor, small talk, humor, self deprecation, humor, cat news, garden news, spouse news, car news, and biking data, and humor.
........R. Crumb
Bully for you, Palmer! You just continue being the rugged individualist that your mother raised up; and several fathers!
........Teddy Roosevelt
If you all ever find yourself in Texas, son, stop by. Mama and I will scald and BBQ a couple cows for you. I will have more leisure time at that point. Don't let the secret servicemen who frisk you bug you. They mean well. I will give you the nickel tour, including my 13 oil wells, and mini-refinery, producing gasoline just for the Bush family.
......G.W. Bush, Jr.
Former President, Ingrate, Reject, Intellectually Challenged, Verbally Challenged, Master of My Own Domain.
What the deuce is the deal up here? When I wear a suit I use the Men's Room. When I wear a dress I used the Women's Room. Who has real difficulty with that concept? Still I am bugged by some little idiot imposter with a goatee whose first name is Edgar as well.
.....Edgar A. Hoover
I think
that I will never
see,
A Palmer
prettier than
me.
Not!
.......Lane Savant
Mmeeeeeeooooowwww!!!! Puurrriiinggghhhheeellllpppyyoouuuddduuuummmmbbbbaaassstaaarrrdddd!
Polalie
I will be the first to state that I never had sex with that cat!
.....Larry: Lawn Leprechaun
Once upon
a midnight clear,
I couldn't find
a decent beer,
so I drank
cat piss;
and that's what
happened to that
puss
Polalie!!!
.......Larry, the LL
Signor Savant:
I am your trusty steed, and I await your need for a good ride. No, I am not the whop, Fidelio, but the maid---
........Emily
Christ, it's starting again. How did this happen? What did you say or do, sir, that precipitated this avalanche of fuss and finnikyness.
Glenn
Junior, you little peepicker, you. I have had it up the yingyang with your stupidity and horse dung. You give a bad name to the Southern Born, the Brothers of the Confederacy. Get over yourself. Bring gas prices down!
.......T. Ernie Ford
Edgar: I will meet you in the Women's Room at our regular time tomorrow. Remember I do love you. Pay no attention the vitreolic crap that Ginsberg is streading. Burroughs has ruined him for the rest of us.
......Truman C.
Are you talking to me? I will be there in a flash, with bells on, and lips pursed. I forget, do you prefer lips or hips?
......Edgar A. Poo
Hell no, you little perv--that invite is for me! Tru would not touch you with my genitals!
.....J. Edgar Poover
I knew it...proof postive of your fetish, or your shame!
......Emily
Do what I do you simpering bitch---get a man!
........Edgar
Poo or Poover?
......Emily
Does it really matter, Em? Poo and Poover are just very sad poofs.
.......Eddy
Do queers go to heaven? I used to think not, and I certainly did not sign on for this kind of depravity!!!
.......R. Rogers
Get a grip, Roy. We all know the sad things you used to do to Bullet, Trigger, Pat Brady, and even Dale, then Buttercup. You are no pillar of Moral Right. You are just another doofus drugstore cowboy. Go bitch to Hoppy and Gene.
........W. Burroughs
I hope you realize that I resemble that remark; resent it too!!!
......Roy R.
Roy, you old rooster. You always promised me that what went on in our bedroom, stayed there. Now I find out that Buttercup got some of that action too! Shame on you!
.....Dale Evans
I will swear on a stack of bibles--I never had sex with that horse!
...........Pat Brady
Who's talking to you? Don't interrupt your betters. You always were a lousy sidekick. I preferred Nellybelle. I could kick her in the door when I wanted to.
.......R. Rogers
Hey, I just found out that Tonto means stupid in Spanish! Ain't that a bitch. I wonder if Sherman Alexie knew that?
....J. Silverheels
All you guys are loco! Renaldo was the real perv. He did stuff to me, and to my horse I cannot even think about without getting the DT's.
.......Leo Carrillo
Did you hear the one about the queer Mountie? He tied up his whistle and blew his horse! Ha Ha.
.....Sgt. Preston
P.S.: When I said, ON KING, I really meant it!
All we have to really fear is Feel Free To Laugh. It is rife with ruffians and sexual deviates.
......F.D.R.
I am seriously considering nominating you, Douglas Palmer, as my Democratic running mate for the upcoming election. I like your style.
..........Barrack O.
Fine Herr:
I don't think Lane is a Democrat. I think he and Meredith are both Vegetarians. And neither has voted for eons. Shop elsewhere.
.........Anonomann
Hay Palmer:
Der is sum kindd of kat livin' undder my porch, and it tells, or maybe it meeooows me dat youse is da ownner. If dat is da case, get your sorry ass over here and pick up the Polalie puss!
.......Vito
I fear that at this point, there is no group of homo sapien that have not been greviously disrespected here. Perhaps Lane will have to put the lock back on and review all the comments. It is very sad to see a fine blog turn to horseshit.
...........Meredith
Well, as Jack Benny used to say. I, for one, have had enough of this silliness. I will trudge through the rest of my day, and prep for the vacation and Camary road trip to Montana. See you later zany skater!
Glenn
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