Saturday, September 25, 2010

Letter to a friend.

Dearest Melissa.
I appreciate that you consider me the "one and only" love of your life.
I know the feeling, I have felt the feeling, I have been through all that the feeling entails. I have felt the giddiness, the floating feeling of intoxication, the feeling of time suspended. And I have felt the withdrawal  aches as the it wears away and is slowly absorbed into the blood stream, converted into waste products and excreted.
Your willingness to enter into a "life long" legal contract with me on the basis of this feeling is flattering but I'm afraid impractical. The idea that we were "destined to be together" is a charming concept but is unrealistic to the point of psychopathy. "Living on love" is not a talent I've ever able to make work, nor can I imagine any possible mechanism by which the philosophy might play out in a real world situation. A situation, I might add that involves major legal, moral and monetary compromise. Actually, I can imagine such scenarios and they seldom end well.
As long as I'm on the subject, I might ask you to look into a dictionary an read carefully all the meanings of the word "love", a word which you seem to like to toss around a bit too casually as far as I'm concerned.
Love might find a way, but until it does we would need food, shelter, and a sensible retirement strategy.
Preparatory to this we would need a "job" or perhaps two.
Please do not interpret this to mean that I am not opposed to further relationship. On the contrary with a few years of serious discussion and examination of bona fides, a contract might possibly be drawn to benefit both of us.
By the way what was that perfume you were wearing Friday? It was wonderful.

Yours, Walter.

13 Comments:

Blogger Glenn Buttkus said...

Let me be the first to send out
a "good show" on this mag!
Leave it to you to swing into
literature, ala Friko, and find
the perfect compliment to
the poetics already submitted.
Walter is a prig, and Melissa
is in for a life of lectures and
manipulations, and of course,
they are perfect for each other.

10:58 AM  
Blogger Helen said...

... I actually knew a guy like this once! Great Magpie!

11:45 AM  
Blogger Lane Savant said...

I am a guy like this.
Love is adolescent nonsense, food and shelter are necessities.
Marriage is a legal contract.
Gonad inspired endorphins are a luxury that few can afford.

1:10 PM  
Blogger Tumblewords: said...

I'm sure this happens more than once a day, somewhere. :) Good fun.

4:13 PM  
Blogger Brian Miller said...

thinking she is not missing out on much after reading this...smiles. nice mag.

5:34 PM  
Blogger kathew said...

oh hah! great post...

6:30 PM  
Blogger Reflections said...

Great write... you seem to have experienced this letter with such fervor.

Great magpie!

11:53 AM  
Blogger Lane Savant said...

Reflections, it's the difference between my first marriage and the one I get to keep.

12:44 PM  
Blogger willow said...

First of all, I love writing in the form of correspondence. That said, "Run, Melissa! Run!"

6:54 AM  
Blogger Carrie Burtt said...

Doug this is such a wonderfully unique take on the prompt...i just love the last line! Awesome magpie!
:-)

6:57 AM  
Blogger Kristen Haskell said...

Nice job!

5:45 PM  
Blogger kathi harris said...

Ok. Realistic, but oh so unromantic.

10:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hallo, Y'all!!
According to a western (capitalist) screenwriter in a film about "love" in the then-USSR, "Love is a chemical reaction, that's all!"
Tschüß,
Anonomann

2:40 AM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

Web Counter
My worth as a human being