Thought for the day, or as long as you like
Lane says:
Doug concurs.
Lane said it, but Doug thought it up.
Everything was normal today the Prius started right up. the battery didn't go dead whilst submerged in a week of snow.
Nope, it was right up in the green where I left it.
We zoomed off to Renton to send a letter to Germany.
Debated a stop at the Whistlestop but went home instead.
After stopping at the library to pick up a present that the folks there gave to M in appreciation for her volunteer work.
But they didn't throw her out...go figure.
And checked out a pair of DVDs.
Fooled around with the DUKE for awhile then brought home some Kernal Kentucky's Sandy Fried Chicken.
Watched "Tristam Shandy".
With music by Nino Rota?
From "8-1/2"?
Weird.
So remember what Lane says.
"Avoid thinking, Vote for the pretty face, and Act like the world owed you a living"
"Think radically, Vote liberally, and Act conservatively"
Doug concurs.
Lane said it, but Doug thought it up.
Everything was normal today the Prius started right up. the battery didn't go dead whilst submerged in a week of snow.
Nope, it was right up in the green where I left it.
We zoomed off to Renton to send a letter to Germany.
Debated a stop at the Whistlestop but went home instead.
After stopping at the library to pick up a present that the folks there gave to M in appreciation for her volunteer work.
But they didn't throw her out...go figure.
And checked out a pair of DVDs.
Fooled around with the DUKE for awhile then brought home some Kernal Kentucky's Sandy Fried Chicken.
Watched "Tristam Shandy".
With music by Nino Rota?
From "8-1/2"?
Weird.
So remember what Lane says.
"Avoid thinking, Vote for the pretty face, and Act like the world owed you a living"
Labels: New year's resolution
posted by Lane Savant at 11:38 AM
71 Comments:
Remember when we were kids and we called KFC, Colonel Cathcart's Kentucky Fried Buzzard? Still gives me a chuckle. I also remember consuming some chicken at the KFC in West Seattle, and becoming ill immediately, and throwing up in the parking lot. Buzzard is a touchy meat. One must cook it thoroughly.
I wonder if the hybrid cars do well in the real winter, in sub-zero temps? Those batteries must be effected. Isn't it a joy to get back to the wet damp wonderworld of the Pacific Northwest? I hear people by the gaggle complaining loudly that the last two weeks have been a nightmare, and they have had it up the ass with winter snows, and pray that is it for the season. I suspect that it is not, that there will be more white wonder in store for us all.
What kind of a present did M get, a book? What DVD's did you check out? Movies, documentaries, gardening tips, porn? You haven't talked much about old Duke for a time. I thought maybe you and he had run your course. In Tacoma, the KFC's have spicy chicken on many of their menus, which I do like; probably cuz we have more ethnic types down here.
Kudos to Lane for his 2009 advices:
"Think radically," yeah, is there any other way to cognitate?
"Vote liberally," I guess most people feel like they do that, whether it is for the Democrats or the Independents. Do the Republicans ever feel like they embrace any liberal policies? Can a duck do a somersault?
"Act conservatively," well, hell, that one is pure Savant. Most of us Type A personalities could not be bothered with such nonsense.
"Avoid thinking," about what?
"Vote for the pretty face," well, Barrack has nice eyes. Sarah Palin was hot to look at, but I could not bring myself to vote for her.
JFK was certainly prettier than Nixon, but then Gore was prettier than GWB Jr. too. So go figger.
"Act like the world owed you a living," gosh, doesn't it? What is the alternative?
Butch will now give advice for the terrific year of 2009 now upon us:
"Act outrageously, Look for levity in all things, but especially on Blogsites, Think with both heads you bad boys."
Melva and I will attend our annual New Year's Eve pinocle party with friends, non-alcoholic, but still rowdy. I have to take my medical treatments today and tomorrow, early due to the holiday. And that is a bitch, enit?
Glenn
Glenn is now posting some fine poetry by Diane Glancy, a teacher who is half Cherokee, and all woman. Simon Ortiz likes her, and so do I. I also liked the Dougie poem, SNOWMOCYCLE.
.........Emily
Yeah, toy manufacturers and game companies have been using my tunes for over a year now. Guess they know I can't sue them or do much about it. But hell, it's good to have the music put out there too.
..........Eddy Emerald
I am not sure that women poets have the right stuff. Their hormones get in the way; ragwords we real men poets call them.
.........Edgar Allen Poo
Again, more bile spewing from the maw of a troll? Poo, at least women, most of us, do not have to get high, or be super depressed in order to write significantly. I swear you become more vile every year since your death.
.............Emily
Yes, Miss E, your point is well taken. For 2009 I will try to be kinder to you, and to Doug's minions. I will subscribe to several lesbian magazines. I will re-read all of your insipid shallow silly poetry, and fling more mud on your white dress and dried up womanhood. I will be so sweet to you, you will howl with displeasure. I promise.
...........Poo
Perhaps Lane could retitle this blogsite to FEEL FREE TO COME OUT, so that more gay bloggers will feel free to participate, to express themselves without fear of sarcastic verbal reprisals.
...........Tiny Tim
Yeah, or maybe Doug could re-title this blog site, FEEL FREE TO SCALP, so that the Skins of the Northwest will feel free to give the white eyes all the payback they most assuredly deserve.
..........Lester FallsApart
No, Poo, just be yourself. I love your biluous virilent dark side. It puts the universe in perspective.
............Emily
Was that a compliment, or a slam? One can never tell from a love starved man-hating up-tight poetdyke such as yourself.
............Edgar Poo
How about FEEL FREE TO BE A DEAD INDIAN? Now that would be a special moniker.
.........George A. Custer
Is it true that I am taller than you, Custer? I know I am taller than Alan Ladd was.
..........Robert Bake
Hell, you are all mountain trolls and giants to me.
........Mini-Me
That is one faction that have not really been represented here on FFTL. Little People of the World stand up, and smack Savant in the kneecap!
.........Billy Bartie
I will remarry in 2009. Brittany Spears needs a man, and I could wear the pants just fine.
..........Madonna
Now that Britt has lost the weight, I was kind of eyeing that bush myself.
..........Ellen Degenerous
Do either of you want her phone number? It is written four inches tall in the men's room at the LA Greyhound station.
.........Justin Timberland
It saddens me that so many of my Mouseketeers go bad, get nasty, become amoral, use drugs--and never offer to share.
.........Mickey M.
You think you feel bad. How about me?
.........Walt Dizzknee
Hey Walt, why the hell did you just give me three fingers? It is embarressing, and women are turned off by it. They like the sailor suit, and my accent, but it is hard to undo bras with these few fingers.
..........Donald Duk
Doug & Lane: Youse are bote punks, and youse knows it. How da hell do you get off givin advice to da rest of us? 2009 will be a bullshit year, and youse know it. Bush has dug us a holle much two deep for jest couple laffs to suffice? Be brave. Tell it like it is, or will be!
.........Vinnie
Trying to imagine your driveway these days. Let's see, the new Prius would park first, at the head, right? Followed by the old Volvo station wagon, that still sort of runs? Don't you still have the VW green bus with the Ferrari painted on the side? You never mention it much. Isn't the amphibian still there too? So the driveway is not empty after all, even after selling the Fiat 500, the Bristol, the Alpha?
Perhaps a pic of your driveway would be in order.
Glenn
Perhaps the FFTL format could change up a tiny bit, as Glenn has suggested numerous times. It would be grand to see a serialized page or two of one of your many plays, kind of a running addition to things; the playwrights corner.
.......Emily
Doug turns a deaf eye on such suggestions. He will only do such a thing if one morning he thinks of doing it himself, and forgets that we all have been suggesting it for eons.
........Eddy Emerald
I promise to wear more dresses, and to make more comments on this blog, my favorite, in 2009.
........J. Edgar Hoooverr
Is it true there is a Lake Washington serpent that you see sometimes from your porch there on the east side of the house?
.........Darby O'gilly
Yeah, how did you know? I have never told anyone about it. And damned if it doesn't have a face on it that looks like Rosie O'Donnell.
.........Lane Savant
I resemble that remark! Actually I have considered asking Doug to be a guest on my new Variety Show. Only trouble is I don't know what his talent truly is. Will he play the guitar or his computer?
..........Rosie O'
Actually since we are so close to the New Year, I can spill the beans. Doug has been working on a stand up comedy routine, retelling all my old jokes. If it goes over, since today's audience will not remember any of them, he may write some of his own, or buy some from Seinfeld.
..........Uncle Miltie Bearl
Palmer is already a joke. He could just come out and stand there and say nothing and it would be funnier than hell.
........Gerald Schwartz
I am Palmer's agent, so you will have to negotiate with me. If the money's right, he could do it naked, or do his Homey the Clown routine. He also can juggle plates, eat light bulbs, or light his shorts on fire.
............Woody Alain
We would like to see him in his Sir Lane Savant armor with the Lance of Liberty, with trusty Anonomann at his side, singing songs from MAN FROM LA MANCHA.
............SSO Security
Are we doing New Year's resolutions? If so, I will vow to make a comeback in 2009.
.......George W. Bush
Did you realize that President Elect Barrack Obama's initials are BO? Somehow that tickles me.
.........Bob Dylan
Brush your teeth, Bob. I can smell your breath clear across the street, and it ain't sweet.
...........Joan Byez
It's alright. I know Jannie still loves me.
........Bobbie D.
I used to think you were pretty cute, Bob, but as you age you are starting to look a lot like a midget Vincent Price.
.........Truman C.
Leave Dylan alone, Tru. You know your favorite song is still BLOWIN IN THE WIND.
.........Elton's John
Zip it, bitch.
.......Truman Capootie
That would be rich and successful bitch to you, punk.
...........Dame Elton J.
Can't we all just get along?
.......Rodney da King
You are the one that needs to "get along"! And come up with a new line sometime, instead of being a Rodney one note.
.............Poo
Did any of you realize that in Rome on New Year's Eve we throw out old furniture into the street? It is noisy and fun.
...........F. Fellini
That would be MAN OF LA MANCHA, you ingrate thugs!
.........Lane Savant
Tanks! What this world needs is more tanks!
.......General Patton
Hey, there's a tank on back of your comode. Perhaps you need to soak your head in it.
..........Bishop F. Sheen
***Emilio's godfather
I promise to bring out a new album in 2009. SIDEBURNS is not enough. What this tragic world needs is more EE.
.........Eddie Emerald
How can you bring out a new album? You are dead. Is there rock and roll for the dead, by the dead?
.........Brittnie Speers
Britt, what the hell do you think Rap Music is?
..........Eddy E.
Now you are talkin some shit, Emerald! Nobody done more for this country than we rappers, and you know it!
......Snoopy Da Doggie
Done what, Doggie? Put the F-Bomb into the mouthes of our youth, made white kids wear their pants down around their knees, helped drug dealers put their kids in private schools, make every real lyrics writer and rock and roll composers retch when your hip hop swill hits the airwaves???
.........Eddy Emerald
Dat's pretty cold, punk bitch. You sold one album in the late 70's, and then you rode your punk ass into oblivion on your hog. You got a legend, sure, but your ain't got no real soul, Eddy. Rap is an industry, has been for 20 years. Get with it.
............Doggie Still
You are right, of course, Snoopy. My new album will be country Rap, and it will sell just as much as Jannie's new country rock CD, I NEED A MAN. At least I hope so.
.........Eddy
Actually, Eddy, you need to listen to the mp3's on Jannie's blog site. I NEED A MAN is a terrific musical concept. Jannie can really belt out a tune, and her tones are fresh and original. Doug and I are competing over on her site to get an autographed CD of I NEED A MAN. We will, of course, buy your album CD when it emerges. I can see the promo, "Back from the grave, Eddy Emerald sounds better than ever!"
Talk about a come back. You go, guy!
Glenn
Maybe Jannie can write the lyrics to one of Palmer's musical compositions, and sing on the recording. Now that would make Musical History!
..........Edgar Poo
As long as she keeps her cute butt in Texas the whole time. Surely she understands that Doug is my man.
.........Emily
No worries, Emily. Jannie is happily married to Sweet Jimmy there in Austin. Her relationship with Doug would be all professional, as long as there was time for daily bra flinging put into her contract.
.........Bob Dylann
There is an Annual Event here in Seattle called Bras Across Lake Washington. Palmer is one of the judges, providing the rope to sling them to. So if someone can just follow Ms. Funster around for several weeks retreiving all those flung undergarments, then the fight against breast cancer can have a new champion.
..........Bill Clintun
On Jannie's site all the comments are numbered, and that is so damned cool. On FFTL one never quite knows what their number is, could be, or should be.
.........Alsburt Einsteen
Hey, that is not entirely true. All one has to do is look at the comments bar as one is typing up their comment. This comment, for instance, is #60. So who needs comment numbers after the fact?
.........Emily
I, for one, want to see Palmer with his shorts on fire, juggling paper plates, to one of his fine musical compositions. Maybe it would make a nice intermission at Benaroya.
...........Jerry Schwarts
Colonel Cody had a performer like that, Cyrus Savant was his name, but he went by Wild Bill Hiccup.
..........G. Custer
Cyrus was my great uncle, and nice of you to remember him, Georgie. He was the first to put the Savant name out there in the limelight. Today of course, thanks to Palmer and this blog site, more people know the name Lane Savant than they do Isshar Danielovich.
............Lane Savant
Everyone knows that is my real name; everyone who counts.
.........Kirk Dugless
Counts to what, ten? Even Mr. Ed can do that!
...........Poo
Damn, Poo, you promised to behave yourself, and now look at what you've said!
............Emily
Wake up and smell the smog, sister, it ain't 2009 yet!
.........Edgar A. Poo
2008 has been quite a year here on FFTL, dead poet's, dead rock stars, celebrity imperonators, dead presidents, dead generals, dead cops. What will next year bring?
............Jim Moris'son
It would be a damned shame if the comments did not go on for two more and reach 70, enit?
...........Chief Victor
I will take the privlege of commenting here on the magic box of #70. I hope 2009 is a better year for all of us. Being in Barrack's posse should help some.
Glenn
I'm using "liberally" in it's more original meaning, i.e. "a lot"
And I'm using "conservative" to mean
"don't fool around with anything that works"
"Liberal" and "Conservative" are meaningless and divisive terms and I'm sick of them.
If everybody would just listen to me and sendmesomemoney, things would once again approach hunky-doryness.
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