Tuesday, September 25, 2007

"99 & 44/100 pure"

Better straighten a few things out here, Lane's hyperbola is getting a little out of hand.
First, the copyright thingie.
When SSO told me to never darken...etc, I told them to take my name and my wife's name out of their data base, take any trace of my presence out of their building. This included the score of an insignificant piece for wind quartet and piano called "Six Mechanical Haiku" which someone whose name I will not mention but who was the first and most competent and capable of the teachers at Soundbridge had placed on the shelf that held the "Listening Post" computers.
They ignored me.
Kept sending me their begging letters.
So about six or seven months later I sent a letter advising them that if they desired to keep the thing they could pay me ten grand or have a copyright infraction slapped on their miserable ass.
That, they paid attention to.
I got it back post haste and post paid.
Along with the usual whining that "we didn't know Wa wa wa."

Now that I'm reliving this incident, I remember some other amusing details.
One of their original complaints had been that I stuck a hundred dollar bill in the Soundbridge begging bowl (they like to refer to it as "Donations")
They threw it back in my face, and continued to send me letters asking for my estate and further donations.
At the same time I sent a check for five hundred to refund what they had paid me for building the harpsichord display and other small payments they had made. They also sent that back with the pompous statement that they "didn't need my money"
They still kept sending their begging notices, and, as of about three months ago, my wife still was getting invitations to their mediocre productions.
They are sooo cute when they are angry.
Also I demanded that The ukulele that I had built for Patricia Kim be removed from the premises or at least have my name removed from the label.
She subsequently quit, so i don't know where that poorly constructed thing is now.

Any Seattle is a place of outstanding musicians and one mediocre orchestra.
They suffer from the usual "Peter Principal" wherein the mediocre are promoted until they are the truly incompetent. Until they become the scum, the slag, and other unmentionable floating stuff that "rises" to pollute any naive cream that might float their way.


Jeremy Denk today posted that he was beginning to visit other sites, "like a real blogger" He referred to one category of blogger as "deliberately boring"
Gosh, could it be me? Does he actually understand my art?
Ella Gray got it when she added the shots and screams to "Nightmare Prelude"

Now, I know that you regulars know and understand irony, satire, and sarcasm, so that when I post that my "head cold" is important news, you can compare and contrast with the SSO's announcement that they are going to have four rotating concertmasters.
Or that there is yet another fantastic "new recording" of some 200 year old piece of irrelevancy. Or that some new failed instrumentalist is taking over some hick town orchestra.

By the way...I just blew my nose.

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5 Comments:

Blogger Lane Savant said...

Geeez...I just noticed some highlights on my picture,notably on the tips of the eyebrows and a vertical ridge running up the forehead, make me look like a friggen Klingon.

11:03 AM  
Blogger butch said...

Gee Dougie, er Sir Lane, you have me a bit confused again; and that is not a rare occurance these fine days.

You make reference to "Lane's hyperbola". It did not seem to make sense.

Hyperbola: a plane curve generated by a point so moving that the difference of the distances from two fixed points is a constant.

Hyperbole: An extravagant exaggeratin, such as "mile-high ice cream cones."

So in many ways both words can apply to Lane Savant and his quest for perfection and communication, but that "e" and "a" have got me on the ropes. Perhaps the hyperbola is the "thought" in the middle of his fine cortex, or the hyperbole is his tendency to be similtaneously vague and grandiose while explicating anything. Go figure.

Yes, thanks for clearing up the "copyright thingie". Have you ever placed SIX MECHANCIAL HAIKU on mp3's? I wonder if those SSO administrators ever talk to each other --bitching about the 100 dollar bill, and then sending you your 500 dollar check back, even though some lowly clerk still has you on the sucker subscriber list?

It might be interesting where your ukulele ended up; maybe some exotic place? Maybe you should post a card on the bulletin boards at Cornish and UofW music departments, and find some zany students who want to do a performance of your music using your instruments; just for grins, just because this world can be so fierce and frustrating, and that would be a night of mirth and lightness and fun? I would have loved to have heard that mini-concert of your music in which you yourself played your homemade cello. You claim it did not go well, but you are the Viscount of Deprecation, the Self mode.

Maybe Sir Savant and Anonomann need to journey to Benaroya, and stand out there on the sidewalk and set up the Palmer Peter Meter, which would illustrate which persons have risen the furtherest utilizing the Peter Principle. Of course one has to beware the Gestapo and the Gargoyles for sure.

You may in fact be many things, sir, and even be called several others, but "deliberately boring" does not begin to describe your nature or your vibe. As to understanding "your Art", that is an ongoing journey, one that many of us enjoy, look forward to in order to sustain the energy modules that lurk beneath our epidermus. FFTL is like the breath of life, that proverbial "breath of fresh air" that we all need to eradicate the stagnation that permeates the atmosphere most of the time. Three cheers for Ella Gray for her strident screams and petulant pistol shots.

It appears that the SSO stands ready for their Dunce Cap Ceremony, like the 500 pound gorilla over in the corner, like the paciderm on the patio, ready for the retorts, sarcasm, anger, barbs, and regular spewing of bile and bathos that will most certainly come their way, or if not ready, then receptive in an esoteric way, receptive because they goddamned deserve it.

As to the ridges on your forehead of the Klingon variety, remember that you earned each one of them, and Gene Roddenberry would be proud of you, if he wasn't dead; which he is, but maybe he is still proud of you because both your sense of humor and intellect are not of this world, or just out of it.

Glenn

6:07 AM  
Blogger Lane Savant said...

HyperbolE!
The delicately subtle curve known as hyperbola is too sophisticated for the likes of myself.
I once got a good grade (B+) in a geometry class (Sealth). It was the same grade as the (Probably lesbian)
teacher's little cheerleader pet's.
Teacher was not amused. Gave me some psychological abuse about it.
Pfui! they are all criminals!

10:21 AM  
Blogger Lane Savant said...

I mean, yeah, extravagant exaggeration.
I have a recording of the string quartet. I don't want to post it.
I could send an Mp3.
Along with a couple other Salon performances that were, shall we say,
experimental?

10:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lane:
On Friday (28 Sep.) DIE LINKE ran a tour to and of Auschwitz; volunteering for this party, I went on it. A horrifying experience that everyone (especially Germans) should have!!
Even the Gestapo in The Cuckuck's nest seems tame compared to that.
When one reads that they returned your $100 and $500 check and still beg you for contributions, I KNOW they're in the Cuckuck's Nest. However, I think they "delegated" their fundraising to some outfit in Las Vegas that may not know you are on the SSO "hit list".

-- Anonomann

7:26 AM  

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