Friday, December 24, 2010

Seasons Gratings, one more time

Lump of coal

Twas the night before
the 25th of December, and
all through the house
there was crap strewn about
The cats were hissing
and smacking each other;
and nary a dry Kleenex
to be found

I and my wife
had just settled down
to an evening
of computer games,
each to his own;
when suddenly
from the front door
there came
such a sound;
as if
religious proselytizers
were knocking
thereupon

That turned out
to be the case
and we were then
faced
with odd little beings
who demanded
that we accept
the true meaning
of this cold icy time of year;
to celebrate
the birth
of someone
who was born
sometime in March,
as far as anybody
who ever actually studied
the subject
could figure.

So we listened
and nodded
and uh-huhed
in agreement,
and they soon
went away.
Jesus Christ!

6 Comments:

Blogger G said...

Cynical, yet funny.

2:13 PM  
Blogger Glenn Buttkus said...

It is Christmas morning,
and thanks to your tradition
of posting this poem, in
an attempt to respond to
it on FB, I managed to create
my own poetics over on FFTR.
Hope the holiday burns bright
there at Redwing Manor.
We have most of the family
here, and the grandson's
are bickering over who got
what present already.
I have been shot, run over,
smacked, kissed, and abused
already, and breakfast is still
to be served.
Happy Christmas, sir, to your
Miss M, and Keth too.

9:17 AM  
Blogger Glenn Buttkus said...

Hey, it is now DayafterChristmas Eve,
and our kids and grandkids are
packing the mini van, and will
hit the road with crossed fingers
tomorrow at 5 a.m. in the morning.
We all need to be a little reflective
this week in those last tiny flaccid
days of this year, before the champagne
flows, and the fireworks blows, and
they trot out the taxidermist's dream,
Dick Clark, hold him up with several
sticks up his butt, and play old tapes
of his trite New Year's comments.
Make your resolutions, transcribe
them onto toilet paper, and then
imprint them on your backsides
so as to give them the respect
they deserve. Oh, where is Guy
Lombardo when you really need
him? Probably schmoozing with
Lawrence Welk, arguing over the
color of bubbles that will be
ejaculated into this pristine air
of 2011. Will there be peace,
or will we spread ourselves even
thinner and send in troops to
protect the industrialists in South
Korea? Will Obama get his numbers
up? Will Michelle thin down those
naughty school children?
Will Hillary bitch-slap some
photographer in Yemen?
Will Ms. Palin shave her head,
and wear a red-white-and-
blue burka for the Fourth of
July next?

8:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hallo, Lane & Glenn!
The LL and I have read your scattalogical Christmas contribution and want to respond with words fit to print: we hope you all have had a very Merry Christmas and will have a happy HEALTHY 2011!!
Tschüß,
Annonoman

11:42 AM  
Blogger Jingle said...

merry post Christmas.
Happy Holidays..

lovely humor.

5:19 PM  
Blogger Jingle said...

Greetings, how are you?

Welcome join us at potluck week 16, with theme as celebrations and festivities..

Feel free to claim awards via the link below…

Awards 4 potluck week 16


We value your support, Have A blessed Holiday!
Best Wishes 4 the year of 2011….
Next Potluck is January 9, 2010,
Please Don’t miss this golden opportunity to shine!

xoxox

5:20 PM  

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