Saturday, November 17, 2007

Oh, no, he's going to try to be funny

Well, I'm disappointed, playing "Free rice" today I failed to get to the "50" level, barely stayed above "46". A jellied mind is of no use to the hungry.

Having stayed in bed for three days, I was unable to sleep last night.
Lay there dreaming up incredibly hilarious things to post. You would have till tears laughed.
But Guess what?

I know you've heard it before, but here's the lone Ranger and Tonto joke.
I've already posted the punch line. They say "find your strength and go with it.
My strength is apparently incompetence.

So anyway, The Lone Ranger and Tonto were ridin' down the line, Fixin' every......
Wait a minute, that's a Dylan song.

Different kind of humor.

The Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding across the plains when suddenly from the south a band of fierce Sioux appeared on the horizon.
"Looks like we better head north" says the L.R.
So they turn north. Unfortunately the horizon to the north is thoroughly clogged with blood hungry Lakotas.
"Looks like we'd better turn east" quoth the masked muffin.
Unfortunately from the east rode a huge jam of Pontiacs (you could tell they were Pontiacs by the hood ornaments that lit up at night).*
"Whoops" says Silver's oppressor, "I guess it's westward ho Tonto, 'ol pal.
But no...to the west appeared the terror inducing figure of none other than Sherman Alexie, armed with naught but a 45cal Underwood.
"Well, Tonto it looks as if we are surrounded on all sides by insurmountable odds.
What can we do now?
Tonto says (all together now) "Whattya mean WE, paleface".

I'd apologize, but I not feeling quite up to it yet.

I like that joke because it gives Tonto a little dignity.
I mean his job was to go into town and get the crap beaten out of him.

Did the poor guy even get minimum wage. I think not.

Try it out
"Gimme a Big Mac, fries and a large sasparilla"
"That'll be a buck and a half, podner."
"Will you take this silver bullet?

That's when he'd get the special sauce beat out of him.

Also the joke gives a little hope to all us long suffering geniuses surrounded by implacable ignorance and stupidity.

Which Is all of us, right?

A little fantasy of striking back. Even though we know it's futile.

Anyway, last night we listened to 3 hours of Paul Anka's "variations on a theme of Beethoven" which was basically the first bar of the fifth symphony over and over and over. Fortunately they played "The Longest Day" along with it which is a pretty good movie and a lot funnier than Ken Burns' version.

Or the real thing, I imagine

This is a test, I'm trying to see how much of this you'll put up with before you sell me to Homeland Security.

Oh...Oh! D Day or the like is the only time I can imagine being glad to hear bagpipe "music" unless you were German in which case you would have the usual reaction.

I know you're out there I can hear you breathing.

Take my wife....to lunch.

Think I will.

*Not only that, some were GTOs

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3 Comments:

Blogger butch said...

Man, when you tackle a virus, or it tackles you, significant events transpire, including your wonderful use of tense in the sentence,"You would have till tears laughed." Perhaps this is the way someone with English as a second language would have approached that thought.

I agree that FFTL should involve laughing, until tears stream down our callow cheeks, until our guts hurt, until we forget to breathe. And you, sir, are the provider, the enabler, the stand up, the sit down, and recently the lie down. I realize that my selfish offer to publish my prose manuscripts in the comments section, like a serialized story, was silly. Sometimes I forget that your blogsite is not all about me. Odd that I would forget that.

I love your LONE RANGER & TONTO joke. It is old as the show, old as radio, older than you and I, and still it tickles the funny bone a bit. What did Lenny Bruce call his LONE RANGER & TONTO humorous bit? Something to the effect that the townspeople are so grateful for his helping them out they ask him if there is anything he wanted. "I want that Indian," he replied. Then Lenny closes the joke with, "Yeeech, the Lone Ranger is a fag!!". That and that short animated feature, BAMBI MEETS GODZILLA used to be shown monthly at the Harvard Exit theater, remember?

Speaking of Tonto, or Sherman Alexie, I finished watching THE BUSINESS OF FANCYDANCING twice; once straight up, and once with the commentary by Alexie and Evan Adams. The book store where you did the filming, was it OPEN BOOK?What part of Seattle is that in? The scene you were in, did Evan have a beard, and wore an Indian blanket? I think I got a glimpse of an autograph seeker that might have been you. Blink and you miss it, so don't blink. Alexie was very generous with his end credits. There were three screenfuls of "thanks" to all that helped with the film. In the "P"'s in the third list, there was DOUG PALMER's name. So hey, you have your name in the credits of a movie. That is worth something, some kind of bragging rights, or silly claim to fame.

Have you seen the movie? It did not really get released nationally. Mostly it played at film festivals. At the Seattle Film Festival, I gather it played at the Varsity theater, and Sherman Alexie appeared in person to answer questions and talk about the movie. Did you attend the movie at the festival?

One thing is made clear by Alexie and Evan, Evan Adams is very "gay",reminescent of Johnny Kaufman from the first class of the BFA program. Remember him? He was one of the first victims of Aids. Alexie did appear several times in the Rez scenes. Oddly he used a house on Vashon Island, and a school on Vashon Island, as part of the Rez, with just some exterior shots on the Spokane Reservation to set the mood. The cinematographer, Holly Taylor, did provide him with a sumptious colorful beautifully shot movie, and he edited it fairly well. It was full of flashbacks and disconnected scenes, and it did not quite come to any resolution or closure at the end; nor did it have a strong narrative sense. Evan Adams played poet Seymour Polatkin. I am reading INDIAN KILLER now, and the major Indian heroine is called Marie Polatkin. But then he borrows from most of his stories for his film scripts. That is his priviledge and pervue. In the director's commentary he mentioned working on making a film out of INDIAN KILLER starring Benjamin Bratt. That must have fallen through the cracks, because it is not listed on his or Bratt's cyber data.

I have never heard THE LONGEST DAY referred to as a "comedy". What a dark and delicious sense of humor you have, sir. As to D-Day, yeah the Ken Burns in depth documentaries play out like a whole season of specials all crammed into one. But one must admit, he is one hell of a film maker. His CIVIL WAR and BASEBALL and JAZZ documentaries are fabulous.

You really lost me with your closing salvo, "Not only that, but some were GTO's"

Glenn

2:28 PM  
Blogger Lane Savant said...

The Pontiacs from the East. Some were GTOs. Some even had six pack carburation
I think both Lenny Bruce and Bill Cosby did Silver jokes "git off my back" the long suffering horse cries

According to St. Lenny. the L.R never stays around for thank you mask mans because he is afraid of becoming addicted.

The bookstore scene which I might have been in was shot at Hugo House a block east of SCCC.

I haven't seen the movie.

I remember Kaufmann. He took a show about Indian life to Broadway.
Sad to hear about the AIDS

I didn't say that Longest Day (Doris's Indian cousin?)was funny
I just said that it was funnier than "The War" or the war.

Anything with the Duke has it's comic aspect. When you throw in Fabian, Paul Anka, Sal Mineo,Sean Connery, etc. it's gotta be good for a giggle or two.

Heres the idea about a blog site. They are easy, they are free, you can have multiple subscribers on the same site.
So we could have one just for the purpose of publishing our stuff.
Think of a name for it think of a password and Bob's your uncle. At least that's what mom says.

I remember the Harvard Exit's shorts.

4:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did G. Rossini compose his overture for THIS?????????
-- Anonomann

2:06 AM  

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