Surely not in church?

Last time I was in church, as I stood with the rest to pretend to sing, I noticed a feminine form in a pew ahead of me. As I was practising certain mental calculations concerning that form, The form's owner reached behind and began to caress a large muscle situated approximatly in the center of aforementioned anatomy.the very one I had been contemplating. Oh my God, thinks I, Minds can be read! She knows what I'm thinking. Thought transference is possible!
A little while later, as we all sat again, I noticed that I was getting a bit squirmy and realized that, because it was a warm and humid day she was just dealing with sticky underwear, and was a bit less inhibited than the rest.
Another triumph of rational thought.
Science sure takes all the fun out of life.