Monday, March 28, 2011


I accidentally painted a picture once and it came out real nice.
It was a really beautiful painting
Not the picture above, that's a good one too, but mine was really nice.
Everybody I showed it to thought it was something special.
So I took it to a gallery. The gallery liked it they would show it, but they wanted more similar work.
But I only painted the one.
And, like I said, it was an accident.
I only wanted to paint one - to see what it was like.
They told me to stay in contact and when I got enough paintings, we could talk about a show.
The other galleries I went to said the same.
I never painted any more.

I took it home and hung it in my living room.
A few years later, when I painted the living room, I took it down and stored it in the basement.
I forgot about it.
Twenty years later I found it again while throwing out a bunch of basement junk.
I still thought it was a real good picture, but I didn't know what to do with it.
So, reluctantly, I tossed it in the trash can.
But when the garbage man came by, he thought it was real nice and brought it to my front door and told me he found it in the trash and it was such a good painting that surely it was in the trash by mistake.
I told him, if he liked it, he could have it.
But he didn't want it, so I took it back inside.

Later, while I was out walking, I saw a yard sale and got an idea.
I went home and got the painting and went back to the yard sale and pretended I found it there.
I asked the man how much they wanted for it. He said he didn't know and asked his wife.
She didn't recognize it either but said "A hundred dollars"
I talked them down to seventy five and took it home again.

I am still not sure what to do with it.


Blogger Glenn Buttkus said...

Wouldn't you know it.
I get all stressed out and do
tons of research so that I can
write poetics on Mona Lisa
and Da Vinci, put in hours
of work, come up with some
thing or other, and here you
go, whipping out a superior
poem, or poetic prose, with
what seems very little effort,
armed with only your wit
and imagination, you have
served up a souffle of humor
that tickles all the way down.
I love it and am envious
at the same time.

11:10 PM  
Blogger Marilyn said...

This is so good, so different, so excellent. A great write.

12:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now, this is just plain hilarious! What an odd and wonderful take. Congrats! Vb

6:51 AM  
Blogger Helen said...

This is just wacky wonderful! Paint me one please ........

9:12 AM  
Blogger Tess Kincaid said...


5:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hallo, Lane!!
I hope what you wrote in this blog is "for real"!! If so, I look forward to seeing/admiring this painting when I come to Seattle on June 2.
Meanwhile regards from the LL (and me) to you, Meredith,, and Keth.
The LL (and I) hope Meredith still plans to come to Europe in September. She will spend some time in June near Amsterdam (probably The Hague researching what she might do (and stay) with Meredith when she (hopefully) comes in September.

7:51 AM  
Blogger Lane Savant said...

Anonomann, nothing that comes out of my head is for real.

11:27 AM  
Blogger Lucy Westenra said...

Lane . . I do believe I have seen your one and only painting somewhere. Wish I could remember where. I know it was in a gallery. One of those big palatial European places, all marble floors and high windows. It was marked up at "One and a half million dollars, awaiting provenance."

6:23 AM  
Blogger Lane Savant said...

Lucy, I wouldn't be surprised.

8:36 AM  
Blogger Lucy Westenra said...

Hope this link to my interest in B's TEMPEST sonata works this time!

(If not, visit my blog and scroll down to the post for Magpie#48, 15th. January.)

10:30 AM  
Blogger Lane Savant said...

Lucy, yes I remember reading that and liking it.
I heard a live performance of the Appassionata played by Alon Goldstein in D.C and I still get goose bumps thinking about it
Mr B rocks.

11:32 AM  
Blogger Trellissimo said...

Great laconic write!

11:51 PM  

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