Well, I'm disappointed, playing "Free rice" today I failed to get to the "50" level, barely stayed above "46". A jellied mind is of no use to the hungry.
Having stayed in bed for three days, I was unable to sleep last night.
Lay there dreaming up incredibly hilarious things to post. You would have till tears laughed.
But Guess what?
I know you've heard it before, but here's the lone Ranger and Tonto joke.
I've already posted the punch line. They say "find your strength and go with it.
My strength is apparently incompetence.
So anyway, The Lone Ranger and Tonto were ridin' down the line, Fixin' every......
Wait a minute, that's a Dylan song.
Different kind of humor.
The Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding across the plains when suddenly from the south a band of fierce Sioux appeared on the horizon.
"Looks like we better head north" says the L.R.
So they turn north. Unfortunately the horizon to the north is thoroughly clogged with blood hungry Lakotas.
"Looks like we'd better turn east" quoth the masked muffin.
Unfortunately from the east rode a huge jam of Pontiacs (you could tell they were Pontiacs by the hood ornaments that lit up at night).*
"Whoops" says Silver's oppressor, "I guess it's westward ho Tonto, 'ol pal.
But no...to the west appeared the terror inducing figure of none other than Sherman Alexie, armed with naught but a 45cal Underwood.
"Well, Tonto it looks as if we are surrounded on all sides by insurmountable odds.
What can we do now?
Tonto says (all together now) "Whattya mean WE, paleface".
I'd apologize, but I not feeling quite up to it yet.
I like that joke because it gives Tonto a little dignity.
I mean his job was to go into town and get the crap beaten out of him.
Did the poor guy even get minimum wage. I think not.
Try it out
"Gimme a Big Mac, fries and a large sasparilla"
"That'll be a buck and a half, podner."
"Will you take this silver bullet?
That's when he'd get the special sauce beat out of him.
Also the joke gives a little hope to all us long suffering geniuses surrounded by implacable ignorance and stupidity.
Which Is all of us, right?
A little fantasy of striking back. Even though we know it's futile.
Anyway, last night we listened to 3 hours of Paul Anka's "variations on a theme of Beethoven" which was basically the first bar of the fifth symphony over and over and over. Fortunately they played "The Longest Day" along with it which is a pretty good movie and a lot funnier than Ken Burns' version.
Or the real thing, I imagine
This is a test, I'm trying to see how much of this you'll put up with before you sell me to Homeland Security.
Oh...Oh! D Day or the like is the only time I can imagine being glad to hear bagpipe "music" unless you were German in which case you would have the usual reaction.
I know you're out there I can hear you breathing.
Take my wife....to lunch.
Think I will.
*Not only that, some were GTOs